Since the opening of its Food & Leisure Garden, Stovehouse has been packed to the brim with visitors and locals who want to forget their worries, sit back with a beverage, and enjoy live music, games, and outdoor entertainment. And there’s plenty to go around!
As you enter the Garden, a welcome sign that outlines the policies of Stovehouse will greet you. Many are self-explanatory. Singing, dancing, kindness, and jubilating are all allowed and encouraged. There’s even allowance for something called “moderate horsejackery”.
On the other side of the sign, you’ll see things that are not allowed while on site like smoking, weapons, unattended minors, and something called “excessive horsejackery”.
You may be wondering, what is horsejackery? And how do I tell the difference between its moderate and excessive forms?
This week, we are writing to help you out!
What is Horsejackery?
It’s no secret that Stovehouse has an impressive history that shows itself in details big and small throughout the campus. From historic black and white photos to the items showcased at the Stovehouse Company Store, the development has plenty of tales weaved throughout its walls.
Among them is the story of a local farmer who had a particularly bad day in 1934. Legend has it that his horse got loose and caused chaos at Stovehouse, leading workers to run away terrified. This event encouraged the coining of the term “horsejackery” when properly defined means “any act that affects safety, productivity, or business as usual.”
While “moderate horsejackery” is allowed at Stovehouse, “excessive horsejackery” is not. Here are 10 examples to show you the difference.
Hogging Outdoor Games – Excessive Horsejackery
One of the defining features of Stovehouse is its many outdoor games like Foot Billiards (Snookball), Bocce Ball, Cornhole, Ping Pong, Hula Hoops, and much more. As much as you may like them (and we hope you do), remember that there are thousands of people who visit Stovehouse on any given night and it’s important to share.
If you’ve enjoyed a full game with your friends, let the next group play. If your child has been kicking the balls in the foot pool area for half an hour, they have been there too long. Let your children know that sharing is caring and it’s important to let others have a try.
These games are there for everyone’s enjoyment and should be available to adults, as well as children.
Telling Bad Jokes – Moderate Horsejackery
Examples include, “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down!” Or, comments like, “Hi, hungry. I’m dad.”
Although we can’t guarantee you’ll have an audience for such jokes, they are in no way discouraged while at the development.
(Please leave your best “dad joke” below in the comments. Maybe it will get it out of your system.)
Unattended Minors – Excessive Horsejackery
Although Stovehouse prides itself in being a safe environment for all, the development is not responsible for your children. The simple rule is that if you cannot see your child or aren’t able to quickly reach them, they have wandered too far. You need to be within arms reach of your child for the entire visit.
Whether your child is dancing on the lawn or playing cornhole, you must be with them at all times. Monitor their time spent on the outdoor games and make sure they are using the facilities as intended in order to ensure a safer and happier time for all.
An unattended minor definitely falls into the category of excessive horsejackery.
Wasting A Perfectly Good Drink Or Meal – Moderate Horsejackery (But NOT encouraged!)
With all of the excellent food options at Stovehouse, it would be a shame to see any of it go to waste. Restaurants at the Food & Leisure Garden are unlike any others in the city because they are local and one-of-a-kind.
Within one area, you can sample flavorful Mediterranean fare, authentic Italian, Korean, Japanese, and others. If you don’t think you can finish your plate, grab a to-go box! There’s never any reason for delicious food to go to waste.
Vandalism – Excessive Horsejackery (Obviously!)
This one is a no-brainer. If you are involved in deliberately destroying or damaging property at Stovehouse you will be asked to leave immediately. Many people have poured their hearts and souls into making it a beautiful place to be admired. Not respecting that is excessive horsejackery and will not be tolerated.
Simply look around the Food Garden and you will see several opportunities to take incredible photos for your Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat. Stovehouse was designed to offer unique photo opportunities!
The only way this “offense” becomes moderate horsejackery is if you ignore the people you came with, forget to participate in the many outdoor games, or become too busy taking photos of your food that it gets cold.
Rudeness To Staff, Businesses, Or Musicians – Excessive Horsejackery
Nothing ruins a party like introducing unnecessary rudeness into the mix. Remember to not only be kind to those around you, but to also respect the many employees who are running the facilities, restaurants, and bars.
Everyone is there to have a great time, and it will be much better if respect is the highest priority.
Busting Out Dorky Dance Moves On The Lawn – Moderate Horsejackery
If the music moves you, Stovehouse encourages you to share all the ridiculous dance moves you’ve got. Past performers at the destination’s live music stage have given plenty of guests with two left feet the courage to cut a rug.
With tunes from Spectrum Jazz, Heart of Grass, Solo Monk, James Parker, Lana White, and many others under its belt, Stovehouse is quickly becoming one of the city’s premier locations for live entertainment.
Currently, every Thursday evening leading up to October 31st is dubbed “Living Room Vinyl with Mystery Hosts”, an event where visitors can gather for fine food and cocktails while two unlikely DJs (who will be announced weekly) sit on an ugly green sofa spinning cuts from records they think you simply have to hear.
Dancing is highly encouraged!
Not Using Outdoor Games & Facilities As Intended – Excessive Horsejackery
The foot billiard game is not a playpen, ball pit, or sitting area. (And food and drink are not allowed on its surface.) Standing idle in the bocce ball court is not allowed–you have to be playing the game. And throwing anything other than beanbags into the cornhole board is a no.
On the same note, be sure that when you are using the games or facilities to take care of them. Don’t leave trash on the ground, be unnecessarily aggressive with Stovehouse property, or act carelessly when it comes to on-site safety.
Singing At The Top Of Your Lungs – Moderate Horsejackery
More than anything, Stovehouse wants you to have FUN! If the mood strikes and you want to sing a song, go for it! We will cross our fingers that it’s received with applause.
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